How to Find Out Who You Are

There comes a point where you look in the mirror and wonder: Who actually am I? Not your Instagram aesthetic, not the version your parents expect, not the friend group persona. Just… you.

I hit that wall in my early twenties. I had the degree, the part-time job, and the “shoulds” lined up, but none of it felt like me. I was basically living on autopilot, constantly scrolling TikTok for distraction. One night, after another doom-scroll session, I realized I could name my favorite TV shows but not my core values. That was my wake-up call.

If you’ve ever felt lost, confused, or just curious about finding out who you are, you’re not alone. Gen Z is basically the “identity” generation. We question everything, from gender norms to career paths, because we don’t want to live fake lives. So let’s talk about what self-discovery actually looks like and how you can start peeling back the layers.

Step 1: Pause the Noise

Before you figure out who you are, you have to hear yourself. Hard to do when your brain is cluttered with notifications, reels, and everyone else’s highlight reels.

Try:

• Logging off for a weekend (yes, even TikTok).
• Going for a walk without headphones.
• Journaling what thoughts pop up when your mind is quiet.

I did this once in Paris while sitting alone at Jardin du Luxembourg (yes, cliché, but effective). Without the constant buzz, I realized I was chasing goals that weren’t even mine...they were expectations I had absorbed. That silence was the first time I started listening inward.

Step 2: Get Curious About What Lights You Up

Identity isn’t something you think your way into...it is something you live your way into.

Ask yourself:

• What activities make me lose track of time?
• When do I feel most energized?
• What conversations get me fired up?

For me, I noticed I loved writing late at night and talking about weird cultural trends with friends. It clicked that creativity and analysis were core parts of who I am.

Sometimes, the stuff you loved as a kid is a clue. Did you paint, climb trees, or organize Lego towns? Those instincts often point to real parts of your personality that get buried under adulting.

Step 3: Experiment and Try Things On

Here’s the thing: you won’t find out who you are by sitting still. You’ve got to try stuff. And sometimes it’ll flop. That’s part of the process.

Examples:

• Take a random class (pottery, coding, boxing).
• Travel solo to a new city, even if it’s just two hours away.
• Volunteer for a cause that matters to you.

I once signed up for a salsa dance class. Spoiler: I’m terrible at dancing. But what I discovered was I love being in spaces where people don’t take themselves too seriously. That insight helped me pick friends and environments that aligned better with my vibe.

Action Box: 10 Practical Exercises for Self-Discovery

If “finding yourself” feels too abstract, here are simple things you can actually do to start uncovering who you are:

1. Journaling Prompts
   Write down answers to questions like “What makes me feel alive?” or “When do I feel most fake?”
2. Strengths & Weaknesses List
   Make two columns: what you’re naturally good at and what drains you. Notice the patterns.
3. Childhood Clues
   List five things you loved doing as a kid. These often point to authentic passions.
4. Values Ranking
   Write down ten values (creativity, freedom, honesty, etc.) and rank them. Your top three are your compass.
5. Solo Adventure
   Take yourself out alone—coffee, museum, park. See what you notice when no one’s influencing you.
6. Digital Detox
   Go screen-free for a full day. Pay attention to what you naturally gravitate toward.
7. Personality Check-ins
   Tools like MBTI, Enneagram, or StrengthsFinder aren’t the full picture, but they spark self-reflection.
8. Creative Outlet
   Try painting, dancing, writing, or music without worrying if it’s good. Expression reveals hidden parts of you.
9. Feedback Loop
   Ask three trusted friends to describe you in three words. Notice the overlap.
10. Future Self Letter
    Write a letter to yourself five years from now. What life do you hope you’re living?

Think of these exercises as puzzle pieces. You don’t have to solve the whole picture at once, but each one brings you closer to clarity.

Step 4: Define Your Values

Who you are isn’t just hobbies, it’s the principles you live by. Values are like your compass. Without them, you’re just drifting.

To figure yours out, ask:

• What makes me proud of myself?
• What behaviors in others inspire or annoy me?
• If I could only stand for three things, what would they be?

For example, maybe you realize honesty, creativity, and connection are non-negotiables for you. Once you know that, decisions like which job to take or who to date get easier.

Step 5: Accept the Messy Parts

Part of finding yourself is realizing you’re not going to love every piece. You might discover you avoid conflict too much, or that you crave external validation. Instead of hating those traits, see them as data. They’re part of you, but not the whole story.

I used to think my “overthinking” was a flaw, but when I reframed it as “thoughtful processing,” it became a strength in writing and analyzing culture.

Step 6: Talk It Out

Sometimes, self-discovery needs a mirror. That could be therapy, a mentor, or just a brutally honest friend. Saying your thoughts out loud often reveals truths you didn’t see on your own.

I remember venting to a friend about hating my job, and she asked, “If money didn’t matter, what would you be doing?” Without thinking, I said, “Writing.” That moment changed everything.

Step 7: Realize It's an Ongoing Journey

Here’s the not-so-fun truth: you don’t “find yourself” once and check it off. You’re always changing. Your 18-year-old self, your 25-year-old self, your 40-year-old self...each one will discover new layers.

The goal isn’t to pin down a permanent label. It’s to keep getting closer to what feels real and aligned, and adjusting as you grow.

Gen Z's Edge in Self-Discovery

If there’s one thing we’re good at, it’s questioning the script. Unlike older generations who were told to pick a lane and stay in it, Gen Z embraces fluidity. We experiment with identity, we normalize therapy, we try out jobs and aesthetics until something feels right. That’s not confusion—it’s courage.

Finding out who you are feels overwhelming, but it’s also exciting. The best part is you don’t need to have all the answers. Start with curiosity, notice what feels authentic, and don’t be afraid to let go of versions of yourself that no longer fit.

When I think about who I am now, I don’t have a perfect definition. But I know my values, I know what makes me feel alive, and I know I’d rather be authentic and messy than polished and fake. That’s enough.

Self-discovery isn’t about reinventing yourself into something new. It’s about uncovering what was always there. And the more you practice it, the more you’ll realize you’ve been you all along.

Stay real and reflective with Woke Waves Magazine, where Gen Z identity gets the spotlight it deserves.

#SelfDiscovery #GenZIdentity #FindingYourself #LifestyleGrowth #WokeWaves

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