Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back? Here's What to Do

What to Do with Unrequited Love (Without Losing Your Damn Mind)

There’s nothing like falling in love with someone who doesn’t love you back to make you feel like the main character in the worst kind of indie film. You know the type. Dim lighting, sad acoustic guitar, too many scenes of you staring at your phone. Been there. It’s messy, it’s heartbreaking, and it feels impossible to climb out of.

But spoiler alert. You can. You will. And you’re not alone in this.

What Even Is Unrequited Love?

Unrequited love is when you catch feelings, real ones, for someone who either doesn’t feel the same or can’t return those feelings. Maybe they’re in a relationship. Maybe they ghosted. Maybe they just see you as a friend. It’s love with nowhere to go. No cuddles, no reciprocated texts, no mutual playlists. Just silence.

It’s also one of the most human things ever.

You’re not weird or weak for feeling this way. But the key isn’t to stop loving them overnight. It’s to redirect that energy back to yourself. And yeah, it sounds like Pinterest therapy, but hear me out.

Step One: Feel It Without Filtering It

Let yourself grieve. Seriously. Cry, journal, scream sing "Driver’s License" in the car, whatever your version of heartbreak looks like, let it out.

I remember one time I fell hard for someone I used to FaceTime every night. We were vibing, or so I thought. Then they dropped the “I think you’re amazing, but…” line. That “but” felt like a knife. I pretended to be chill about it, said we could still be friends (lies), and then spent the next month crying every time their name popped up in a group chat.

Bottling that pain didn’t help. It just dragged out the process. You gotta feel it to heal it.

Step Two: Stop Feeding the Fantasy

Unrequited love thrives on potential. You start imagining how good you’d be together, how much better you are than the person they actually like, how they’ll eventually realize what they’re missing.

But that’s not reality. It’s fanfiction.

Every time you rewatch their stories, reread old messages, or daydream about what could’ve been, you’re feeding a version of the relationship that doesn’t exist. You’re keeping your own heartbreak on life support.

Cold turkey might suck, but muting their socials, deleting convos, and distancing yourself, even emotionally, is essential. Romanticize your life, not one they don’t want to share with you.

Step Three: Get Mad (A Little)

Anger isn’t always bad. Sometimes it’s the spark you need to wake up.

Yes, they have a right not to love you back. But you also have a right to be pissed that you were left hanging, led on, or emotionally breadcrumbed. That fury? Channel it. Let it push you toward setting boundaries, cutting ties, or even just hitting the gym like you're training for a breakup revenge glow up.

Anger can be clarity in disguise. Use it wisely.

Step Four: Fall Back in Love with Yourself

Cliché? Maybe. Necessary? Always.

Unrequited love can wreck your self worth. You start wondering what’s wrong with you, why you weren’t enough, if you’ll ever feel that way again. But that’s the trap.

This is the time to reconnect with who you were before them. Or better yet, who you’re becoming after them.

• Pick up an old hobby you dropped
• Start dressing for you again
• Take yourself on solo dates
• Hang out with people who gas you up

Think of it as the post heartbreak side quest. Rediscovering your sparkle.

Step Five: Don't Settle for "Maybe Someday"

If someone tells you “maybe in the future” or “I’m just not ready right now,” don’t wait around like you’re in a rom com. Life’s not on pause until they make up their mind.

You deserve love right now. The real kind. The messy, goofy, “I saw this and thought of you” kind. Not love that's stuck in the limbo of "almost."

Hanging onto a “maybe” keeps you from meeting the people who would choose you without hesitation.

Step Six: Use the Pain Creatively

Some of the best art, music, and poetry exists because someone got their heart broken and turned it into something beautiful.

Use your feelings. Write a song. Paint something weird. Start a TikTok series about it. Journal like you’re the next Taylor Swift. Whatever your outlet is, make the pain do something for you.

You’re not broken. You’re just cracked open and that’s where the light gets in.

What Not to Do

• Don’t try to win them over by being extra nice. You’re not a PR campaign
• Don’t stalk their new partner. It’s self inflicted emotional torture
• Don’t settle for friendship if it’s only keeping you attached
• Don’t numb it with distractions. Rebounds aren’t healing. They’re avoidance

Healing Isn't Linear

Some days you’ll feel free. Other days you’ll hear a song and spiral. That’s normal.

Healing isn’t about never thinking of them again. It’s about thinking of them less. Then with less pain. Then one day, with peace.

You’ll catch yourself laughing without forcing it. Dancing without thinking of them. Loving again without fear. And that’s when you’ll realize unrequited love didn’t ruin you. It refined you.

Unrequited love isn’t your endgame. It’s a chapter. A really raw, unfiltered one. But it’s not forever.

You are still lovable. Still worthy. Still more than enough.

Keep choosing yourself. Even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts.

Stay connected with more stories from the heart and real Gen Z life advice at Woke Waves Magazine

#unrequitedlove #heartbreakhealing #genzrelationships #choosingyourself #wokewavesmagazine

‍